Once car theft was seen as a crime which happened in other countries - you know what’s coming next:

“I remember Cyprus in the olden days when you could leave the keys in the car, the front door open and money on the kitchen sideboard…”

A fact that isn’t true any more.  OK, now that’s done – I can tell you about the big news on my patch.

I can scarcely believe it, but over the past few weeks a gang of nasty thieves have been hot wiring cars underneath the ignition and driving off.

It’s shocking, but begs the question – Where do all these vehicles go to?

Half a dozen motors have been pinched in the past month, but I cannot help wondering who gets them – who orders their theft? - are they shunted onto a smuggler boat moored off Cape Greko and shipped abroad?

When I say abroad, I obviously mean countries that have left hand drives such as East Africa, India, Pakistan, Japan, or even Malaysia.

Or are they sneaked over the Green Line under the noses of those alert SBA police officers?

Or just broken up for spare parts in some Arthur Daley type chop shop at the back of a deserted farm?

Police used to say that car theft was as a victimless crime – try telling that to the poor sod in Xylofagou whose motor was taken from his driveway in the middle of the day – the guy was mortified.

A similar misfortune befell a man in Paralimni who even put up colour posters of his beloved car on lampposts, offering a reward.

Tonight, yet again, I shall be taking a quick walk to the driveway to check my motor is still there – I will keep you posted.